It is not the fear of failure that is the most haunting thing to me at this early stage. Rather it is the fear of shit. A shit product at the end of the day.

It will take a great deal of my time, some money and a lot of other peoples’ considerable effort to pull this thing off. As all collaborative endeavors do. Some oversight or fuck up on my part or another’s could derail the thing before we roll camera, or the lead actor gets hurt on day one of shooting and the prospect of salvaging something after that is pretty slim. These would be failures, and would hurt a lot, but such is life and I am not afraid to face those sort of things.

The shit product, a bad or joke of a film that holds no value would be it’s own failure, true. In such a case though I would have asked, and received, a ton from others and sacrificed a great deal myself, and would subsequently feel much worse than if it were to fall apart or not coalesce somewhere along the way.

There is no remedy for this fear. I can plan, order and control nearly everything from here on out, but it could still all end in shit. In the face of that fear I will press on though, and will work my damnedest to see that it comes out the opposite of shit.